Whatever It Takes
by redtrouble
Summary: Theron Shan realizes GEMINI 16 is watching him and that he must betray the woman he loves to protect her. Theron POV. [f!Smuggler/Theron.]
1. Exposed

Vinn Atrius had his arms folded across his chest and his face was tight with skepticism as Theron Shan strode toward him.

"You'll need my help," Theron assured him. "No one knows the Alliance better than one of its founders."

"You expect me to trust you," Atrius hissed, "after you helped the Outlander forge a partnership with the Empire?" Anger was etched into the lines of his face, barely contained malice at the thoughts his own words conjured. "In a single blow, you doubled their support and cut ours in half."

"I also led the Commander into that trap on Iokath," Theron cut in, pacing away from him. "You wouldn't hear me out, so I took matters into my own hands." He turned back to Atrius. "Look, you doubt my intentions. I get that. How can I convince you?"

Atrius stared at him for a long moment before replying, "Umbara. The Adegan crystals."

Theron held his arms out to the side, a gesture of confidence. "You got it."

"We'll see," Atrius said.

Theron watched him walk away and wished he could shoot him in the back. That man was so angry, so bitter, it blinded him, made him stupid. He hated to work for him, hated to be in the same room with him, hated the awful feeling he couldn't shake at setting her up…his Alico.

 _This is for her_ , he told himself again. He had done nothing he knew she couldn't survive, nothing he knew she couldn't escape from. But hiding it from her was like a splinter digging into his skin, a tiny nuisance festering into fever and poison.

He hated going undercover. He hated Vinn Atrius. He hated being away from her. He hated lying to her. And most of all, he hated himself for doing it. But he would do anything— _anything_ —to protect her. Not being with her was nearly unbearable, but losing her would…her death, it would…destroy him.

Theron waited until Atrius was out of sight and then turned to leave, anxious to get back to Odessen, to see her, to hold her, and then explain his plan. He hated the thought of revealing his setup but was positive she would understand now that he had real, actionable information to bring to the table.

He stopped short as the imposing wall of GEMINI 16 stood in his path, fixated on him with those red, robotic eyes. He knew she was just a droid, but everything about her screamed evil. He frowned as she stared and wondered what she wanted and why his feet weren't moving.

"I do not trust you," she finally said.

Theron did not swallow the lump that started to form in his throat or shift his weight—tells of nervousness. He gave her the flattest look he could muster, a mixture of "Is that really all you had to say?" and "I don't care what you think."

She studied him a moment longer before continuing. "I do not trust you but you have our attention. Deliver the Adegan crystals as promised and you will have earned Atrius' trust. But do not think you can betray us to the Outlander once you have passed this little test. I am watching you, Shan."

He almost snorted in disbelief when she suddenly held out her hand and projected a blue holo image. A galaxy map appeared and a red blip lit up in a far corner, quickly zeroed in, further and further, right to Odessen, to Zakuul, to Odessen, to various points in space, to Iokath, back to Odessen—all over. It plotted his recent locations as though he were wearing a tracking device.

"I know everywhere that you go," she said as he watched the cascade of maps and wondered how she could have possible gotten this information. "I hear everything that you say."

Audio files began playing, one after the other, of him and various Alliance members. He heard blips of work conversations—high security clearance and top-secret debriefings, how the hell had she gotten ahold of these?—his usual banter with co-workers, idle chats, him snoring, even a clip of him ordering a cup of caf.

"I see everything you do."

Various camera angles of dozens of locations and times flashed before him, and the subject matter was him—talking and laughing and eating and working. He saw himself on Zakuul meeting with a relief team, on Iokath with Lana as she tried to convince Alico to spy on the Alliance, in the Gravestone with Koth running diagnostics on some of the upgrades, on Odessen with Alico—

His whole body went rigid as his jaw went slack and he lost his breath, feeling the impact like a blow to the gut. There in front of his eyes was a video of him and Alico making love in her bed. He heard his heavy breathing and her soft moans, heard her murmuring his name, heard him muttering his love for her.

His blood was like ice in his veins as fear crept up his spine and sent tendrils spidering into his brain. How had she gotten this footage? What angle was this taken from—the computer in the corner? GEMINI 16 had invaded every ounce of his life, every private and intimate moment. He had never felt so exposed, so vulnerable.

"H-how did you…" It was nothing more than a whisper, too shocked to speak.

"I'm watching you, Theron Shan," GEMINI 16 said. "If you are ever false, I will know. And I will kill you."

She closed her fist just as Alico's pale form arched against his, crying out. His heart skipped a beat as his stomach dropped and then it was hammering against his ribcage in absolute terror. GEMINI 16 stared at him for another long moment then stepped around him and walked away.

Theron stared at the ground, at his feet, and wanted to vomit. He couldn't tell her. There was no way he could tell her, even whispered in the throes of passion. Who knew how many recording devices GEMINI 16 could access—where all of them even were! He tried to remember every access point in Alliance Command and growled in frustration twenty seconds in. There were too many.

He was going to have to betray her, make it look real. She was going to believe he had turned on her…and he was going to have to let her.

He rushed out of the meeting spot, afraid to show anyone the look on his face as he realized he was going to have to crush the person he loved most in the world and smile when he did it. He almost lost his nerve, almost halted his trek back to his ship in favor of sabotaging the station before Atrius and GEMINI left. Innocents would die, but so would a couple leaders of this Order of Zildrog. They wouldn't be able to hurt anyone again. Wouldn't be able to hurt _her_.

Theron's fists clenched at his sides as he forced himself to keep walking. If he sabotaged the station, there was no guarantee he would take them out or stop their plans. He didn't know enough. He didn't know how deep it went, what their ultimate goal was, or how they planned to execute it. He couldn't bail out just because he was afraid—terrified—he was…

Mortified.

His jaw clenched so hard that his teeth hurt as he thought of their naked bodies pressed together as seen from GEMINI 16's palm. He remembered that night clearly in his mind. It was after a long and stressful day for both of them—full of long conferences with angry and entitled political leaders, the relief team sent to Dantooine had suffered serious setbacks from diplomatic tape, the caf machine had broken—and he was overworking himself as usual to compensate for what felt like an unproductive day. She had come in and snatched his datapad out of his hands. He had snapped at her and she had barked at him and he had barked back, and then she inhaled deeply and her angry expression became a sad frown as frustrated tears filled her eyes, and then…

And then he hadn't cared about work or the Alliance or the relief effort or the politics, only her. All other things were forgotten. He had scooped her up and kissed her, and she wrapped her arms around him, and they held each other in desperation for human contact that confirmed that they were not alone. For that loving touch that reordered their priorities, reminded them what it was all for.

They had made love long into the night and he had told her again and again that he loved her, worshipped her, that she was everything to him. And she was. Everything. His heart still skipped a beat as he remembered the rasp of her voice as she whispered back, "You are my everything, Theron."

And now GEMINI 16 had taken one of the most precious moments of his life and poisoned it. As he remembered that night, he remembered it seen through GEMINI 16's spying eye, was nauseous from the blow. Exposed and so vulnerable…and afraid.

That was why he had to do it, to betray her. Because Alico was everything to him. And he would do whatever it took to protect her.

* * *

Author's Note: I remember thinking, "Really? There wasn't a single opportunity you could tell my smuggler what was going on?" So I had to write this because it made it make sense for me. Also because I just wanted to get inside Theron's head. My initial impression of him all those years ago when I first did Forged Alliances was different than how he turned out, and I really enjoyed seeing his personality unfold. I also think the romance was really well done and Troy Baker pretty much nailed it. This isn't my Alico head canon, but it's my Alico game canon, so here's a lot of angst and Theron and possibly fluff because I love a happy ending.


	2. Betrayal

It was the look on her face as she gazed at him. It was the sound of her voice as she said his name. Confusion, shock, denial… He had shot at her, trapped her behind the emergency shield, and she still had that look on her face that was screaming it was a lie.

It ripped him open.

He wanted to beg her to see what he had done, not what it had appeared he'd done. He had a clear shot at her. If he wanted her dead, she would be dead. But he had given Lana enough time to turn around, had missed on purpose to activate the compartment shield, made sure she would have plenty of time to escape.

But that look on her face… She was still trying to process it, still refusing to believe it was what it looked like. _It's not. Please don't believe it._ But he couldn't say those words… GEMINI 16 was listening, was watching, was waiting for him to slip up.

Theron made his voice as cold as he could and still look at her. "It's over, Commander," he said. "In a few minutes, this train will collide with that mountain range. You'll be disintegrated—" the word was like ash on his tongue "—and I'll escape with the Adegan crystals. Don't worry." He stepped up to the shield. "You won't feel a thing."

Damn it, but that look on her face...it choked him. Alico had been a smuggler when he met her, fearless and witty but probably as closed off as he was. Nothing got under her skin. And here she was with pain ripping freely across her features. Her jaw tightened, her lower lip curled up in an effort to keep the quivering contained. It was all hitting her so fast that she didn't have time to process what he had done, only what he wanted her to think. That he had betrayed her. _Please,_ his mind screamed. _Please, baby, don't believe me!_

"Did you ever love me," her voice shook and she looked away, couldn't stand to face him, "or was that all part of the act?"

No, no, no. How could she think that? How could she believe for even a second that it hadn't been real? This was all wrong. Why did it have to be this way? He couldn't face her. He couldn't walk away from her. He couldn't not say the words, even if GEMINI 16 was listening.

"You know I love you…" he growled quietly as he slammed his fist against the barrier. His chest hurt, his stomach roiled. "But this is bigger than us."

 _She's watching us,_ he wanted to say. _Don't you understand why I have to pretend? I won't let them hurt you. I won't let them take away everything you've built. I love you, I love you. Please, understand. This is all for you._

"Luring you into the trap on Iokath was just the beginning," he said, and he had to look away from her. He paced the length of the shield, back and forth, strengthening the resolve in his voice with every syllable, reciting the practiced, pre-planned lie. "Ever since you defeated Valkorian, everything I've done has been toward one goal…" He looked at her. "The total destruction of the Eternal Alliance."

And it was the look on her face, defeat and confusion, that made him wince inside. He had to look away, keeping pacing.

"But you helped build the Alliance," she said, dumbfounded. "After everything we've been through, why tear it down? Why now?"

"What I built was an end to the Eternal Empire. Not this. I followed you because I believed you'd end the cycle of war. I thought we'd finally be free once you took down Valkorian." He gritted his teeth, readied for the blow he knew he had to land, and met her gaze with ice in his eyes. "But the Alliance outgrew you. Now it's rotting from the inside, the galaxy's fighting back, and you've become a symbol of oppression." He wrinkled his nose in disgust just to keep himself from reacting to her expression. "So much for your dreams of peace," he spat.

Lies. They were all lies. The galaxy would never be finished from war. He knew that. He was not stupid or naïve. He was not a zealot or even much of a patriot—not anymore. He was just a man who struggled against the grain for peace, whatever sliver of it they could hold onto for however long. He was a man who loved this woman in front of him. He would do _anything_ to protect her, even break her heart.

"Why didn't you come to me earlier…?" she asked, and it was no more than a whisper. "I would have listened. I would have—would have changed, I—"

"No," he interrupted her, unable to hear anymore of her desperation, her sadness. There was nothing she needed to change. He didn't want her to think that, to believe it. "I wanted to tell you—" _I wanted to tell you more than anything!_ "—but I knew you'd try to talk me down." _But GEMINI 16 was watching…_ "I couldn't take that risk."

"Theron!" she cried. " _Please._ If you topple the Alliance, _millions_ will die!"

"If that's the cost of peace," he ground out through clenched teeth, "then so be it." He took a deep breath as his cybernetics alerted him to the time. "Thirty seconds to impact." He stepped up to the shield again, gazed as long as he dared at her crumbling expression, and whispered, "This is goodbye."

And it was the look on her face that surprised him the most, that broke him into a hundred thousand tiny pieces. There was so much love mixed into her sorrow and pain. She threw herself at the shield, slapped it with both hands.

"I still love you!" she exclaimed in a raspy voice as tears slipped down her cheeks. "Nothing will ever change that!" Her voice cracked. "I will always love you, Theron!"

He felt it, the emotion warping his face as he stepped away from her. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to respond, to take it all back, to save her and beg for forgiveness after. But he forced himself to turn around and walk away, even as his mind screamed, _I will always love you, Alico! Always. You are everything to me. And I will do whatever it takes to protect you. Even this._

"Theron!" she called after him, imploring him not to go, and he felt tears sting his eyes but he kept walking.

 _I'm so sorry,_ he thought, afraid to even whisper the words. _I'm so sorry, baby. Please, don't cry_. He didn't want her to cry. He wanted her to get angry. He wanted her to be the strong, fearless, unstoppable woman he had always known her to be. Almost always. There had been one moment when she had been so human that it paralyzed him…

When they had freed her from carbonite and she had come through her long journey to Odessen, he met her at the landing. His nerves were in ruin as he approached her, waiting for her to turn around. When she did, she had looked at him in surprise, hair tangled, pale cheeks smeared with dirt and dust, dark circles under her eyes…and he thought she looked more beautiful than she had any right to.

"Theron Shan," she whispered, and her voice hitched with relief, surprise, maybe even hope…

He wanted so badly to embrace her, to kiss her, to tell her how happy he was that she was alive, how much he had missed her, how afraid he had been that she was lost forever. But he was so nervous, all he said was, "Hadn't seen you in a while. Wasn't sure you'd remember me."

She looked at him like he was an idiot—the idiot he felt—and one of her familiar, amused smiles touched her lips. It was small, weak, but there. "Are you kidding? It's so good to see you again." She hugged him suddenly and his arms instantly wrapped around her. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Good," he murmured. "Wasn't sure, based on what Lana said you went through. What you're…going through," he muttered, feeling childish, feeling stupid. He was an ex-SIS agent. Why couldn't he be cool in front of her, just once? He gripped her shoulders as she leaned back. "Hey, I've got something for you."

He tapped the comm device on his wrist and signaled Tora to bring in the XS Freighter. The moment it appeared on the horizon, he turned to smile at her, hoping the sight of her ship would cheer her up.

But he was wrong. He was so very wrong. Grief struck her so hard that he didn't have a moment to get a word in when she began sobbing into her hands. She looked so tiny, so frail with her thin fingers trembling against her cheeks, shoulders shaking beneath a dirty jacket too big for her. He reached out and it took him two tries to finally touch her, to bring her into his arms and hold her. she clung to him and wailed against his chest.

"F-five y-years," she stammered, and then she couldn't speak for crying. And he knew all of her pain… They had stolen five years of her life, had frozen her in time while the galaxy kept revolving. And everyone she knew and loved scattered, her ship—her _home_ , as she had once told him—was gone, and she awoke alone on a strange planet in foreign space.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there when you woke up," he whispered into her hair and squeezed her tighter.

As Theron mounted the speeder and departed the train with the memory fresh in his mind, he risked a glance at her through the broken car window and saw the same grieving woman he had held what seemed like a lifetime ago. She had lost something back then—those five precious years of her life…and again now. Lost something important. And he had taken it from her.

Theron didn't know if he would be able to stop the Order of Zldrog or if he would even survive it. He didn't know if she would forgive him if he did… But he knew that he would never forgive himself for what he put her through.

 _I'm sorry,_ he thought again, over and over and over until he made it to the Order's camp on Umbara where he was afraid to even think the thoughts that might put her at risk.


	3. Always

Alone in his shuttle, Theron stared at her blue image over the HoloNet, listened to Alico's touching broadcast. She was trying so hard to make things right by him. "I love you, Theron… Please," she implored, "Come home."

Home. She had only ever used that word once. Her ship was her home, she had said. It took him awhile to realize what that meant for her. It was more than just a place to lay her head at the end of a long day or a sense of belonging. Home, for her, was something sacred. He couldn't fully understand it but he knew just how serious it was. And now she was using that word again—home. Come home. Not to Odessen or the Alliance, but to her. And if she was calling it that, it meant she felt it, too—that he was her home. Home had become that space they shared when they were together.

"I love you, too," he whispered into the quiet cockpit. "But I can't…"

He set up the auto-pilot for his rendezvous with Atrius and rested his forehead in his palms as the horrible moment on Umbara replayed over and over again in his mind. He had hurt her so much, and yet… _I still love you, Theron!_ She was trying to fix it, dedicating those one hundred ships to the fight for peace, offering him command of them. It was like she was asking him for forgiveness. She believed him when he made her think she had let him down.

"Damn it," he rasped into the quiet.

He couldn't take the agonizing oppression in his chest, that invisible hand tightly squeezing his heart. He had to do something, had to say something. Even if GEMINI 16 was watching, it would be okay. He could word it just right to get the point across without sacrificing his cover. The droid already knew he loved her. Pretending otherwise would draw attention to his ruse.

He pulled up his message center and began typing up a quick letter. In the title, he wrote the first thing that popped into his mind. _I love you._ And then, unlike every other time he had tried to compose a letter to her, his fingers raced across the keypad without reservation.

 _I saw your message on the HoloNet. I wish I could drop everything and leave with you, somewhere away from all this war and death. But that's just a nice dream—reality is much harder._

Theron swallowed the lump forming in his throat. His fingers stilled over the keypad as he struggled not to confess too much. When he finally started typing again, it was chopped and heavy and he hated the lies he had to tell.

 _Feels like I've fought for peace all my life, but everyone has let me down. The Jedi, the Republic, even the Alliance._

Part of it was true. The Jedi and the Republic _had_ let him down. But not the Alliance, and especially not her. He was afraid of how she would perceive it but he couldn't not say it and risk rousing GEMINI 16's suspicions any more than was already riled.

 _The galaxy doesn't deserve this endless war for power. I just want it to stop. But now, I've finally figured out how to end the destruction. Trust that everything I do is for the good of the galaxy._ _I don't expect you to understand_ —

But he prayed she would. He desperately hoped she would read between the lines, understand what he meant when he said he figured out how to end it, when he asked her to trust in what he was doing. _Figure this out_ , he pleaded as he finished typing the paragraph. But he couldn't help but believe he had destroyed what they had, that there was no coming back from what he had done.

The look on her face! He slammed the console in anger at his own actions, however necessary. He stared at the blinking caret as a feeling of dread plummeted straight to the bottom of his gut. He took a shaky breath and started a new line.

 _But however this ends, I just want you to know…_

Theron paused. What did he want her to know? That he loved her? Yes, but it was more than that. What he felt for her was…

He leaned back in his chair and stared at the starry expanse beyond the cockpit. He thought of the very first time he had met her on Carrick Station. It was over holo. He had read her profile, seen her photos. He thought she was beautiful, and his mental reminders that trillions of women in the galaxy were beautiful didn't do anything to alleviate the slight tingle of nervousness he felt. His training kept him calm and collected on the outside, but Alico Starwind had a reputation. She had accomplished some incredible things. Even if she had been a two-headed freak show, he still would've been awed.

He saw her before she saw him, through the droid's holocam as it approached her. His mouth felt a little dry and his palms a tad bit sweaty. He was positive a primary contributor to his nervousness was the fact that she had been so damn hard to track down, which meant he had actively been looking for her. It made him feel like a stalker—of course he was a stalker, he was a damn SIS agent. His interest levels had spiked as a result from the mere fact that, even to an SIS agent, she was difficult to reach.

He almost chuckled when he saw the wary look she was eyeing the droid with—like she had been down this road before and it had led to bad things. And then he appeared in front of her.

"You're not easy to find, Captain…" he said much quieter than he had meant to, "but I imagine that's a good thing in your line of work."

She looked at him with all the confusion she could muster and said, "I sincerely have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

The lie rolled off her tongue so easily and so quickly that Theron could only stare at her for a second, processing it. And then he laughed—he actually laughed, and it was real, not an ironic chuckle or bitter snort, but genuine laughter. At that, she grinned and his heart suddenly started racing. In an instant, he wanted nothing more than to get to know her better. He wasn't sure to what extent or how that would even happen, but he was not about to lose the chance to be closer to her, even if it was just for work.

But it wasn't. She flirted with him, and it surprised him so much that he responded in the only way he knew how: ignoring it or redirecting it to business. He was terrible at relationships, at flirting, at just…any interaction with others outside of work. But she didn't seem to mind. It didn't scare her off. It didn't slow her down. And more and more of his thoughts became consumed by her.

It was a slow, smoldering burn as the galaxy brought them together and pulled them apart, over and over again. And every time he found himself face-to-face with her again, he was more nervous than the last, heart hammering in his chest, stomach fluttering, palms sweaty, and his mind betraying him into believing she had forgotten him or lost whatever interest she may have had in him.

But every time, she would give him one of those little grins and say, "Good to see you again, Theron," until he finally broke. On Rishi, when she said, "After all of this time, I was starting to think you didn't care," the words popped out of him before he could even think about them. "Is that a fact?" he asked. "What are you thinking now?" Lana's interruption reminded him of the circumstances, of the fact they weren't alone, and he felt embarrassed and stupid, but that gleam in her eyes made him feel something else, too. He knew what she was thinking—he was thinking the same thing, and it made his pants fit a little too tight.

It happened quickly after that, and he would never forget the first time they kissed or that afternoon they made love in a shuttle on Yavin IV. He didn't know what that made them or what it meant to her, but it had meant the world to him. He couldn't say it back then—didn't have the words, was too scared to bumble his way through it, wasn't sure she felt the same way. Maybe he was just a hot stop for her on this crazy ride she was on, but for him…since that very first meeting, he had known…

Theron sat up as he realized what he wanted to say.

 _I just want you to know that I loved you from the first moment I saw you. And I always will._

He hit send before he could regret it, before he could agonize over the wording, before he lost his nerve. He may have lost her forever but it wasn't about him. It was about her, protecting her, no matter what it took. Because he loved her.

"And I always will…"


	4. Reunion

Theon wasn't sure she would show up. He had left his clues but he couldn't be sure she had received them. She was smart but maybe he had been too vague… He thought back to all of his choices that brought him to that moment, hiding behind a rock on Nathema, waiting to answer for his actions. He was second-guessing himself but it was too late to take a different route. He was there and Atrius and GEMINI 16 were at Zildrog and he hoped Alico was on her way.

He was nervous, just like the old days before he knew she loved him as much as he loved her. Just like then, he couldn't be sure of how she felt. Did she still love him? Could she possibly forgive him? Would she even listen to what he had to say? Every awful outcome piled up in his mind until he was almost certain she would despise him.

The sound of footsteps crunching pebbles and dry earth set his heart to racing. He could hear Lana's voice and he swallowed nervously. Moment of truth… Whatever her judgment—if she hated him, if she never wanted to see him again—he deserved it.

"This is where the coordinates pointed to," Lana mumbled, voice growing louder, "but…"

"Where are we?"

It was Alico's voice and his heart jumped into his throat. It felt like a lifetime since he had heard her voice, seen her face. In these months undercover, he had avoided everything to do with her, everything save for his memories. It was too much to see her… It conjured up all the pain he had worked so hard to suppress, made him doubt himself, lose focus.

"Not Zildrog's location, evidently," Lana muttered as Theron took a deep breath and slipped out from his hiding place.

"Sorry," he began and Lana's lightsaber immediately leapt into her hand and angled at him as he strolled toward her. "I needed to meet somewhere the Order wouldn't notice," he explained, holding his blaster out for her to see.

"Theron!" Alico exclaimed and raced toward him, right into Lana's suddenly outstretched arm.

His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. She was pale—paler than normal, anyway—and she looked thin—well, thinner than usual—and there were circles under her eyes, and he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his entire life.

"I managed to give them the slip," he said, trying not to choke on emotion, and placed his blaster on the ground, "but we don't have much time." He bowed his head, unable to face her, waiting for the blow he was positive would come.

"Theron…" Alico tried to move forward but Lana held her fast, pushing her back. Alico shot her an annoyed glare then looked back at him. "They said I was crazy to trust you, but I knew you'd come back."

His head snapped up in surprise. Was it true? Could he really believe it? Had she really believed in him? All this time, she…had trusted him?

"I don't know how I could deserver your trust," he whispered. "I have a lot of explaining to do."

Alico shoved Lana's arm aside and pushed past her, racing for him. They collided with such force that it nearly knocked him over. Her arms circled him, clinging to his coat. Before he could analyze it, his arms were squeezing her tightly, one hand cradling her head against his chest, fingers tangling in her hair.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, suddenly hoarse. He bent his head and pressed his mouth into her hair. "I'm so sorry…"

Lana disengaged her lightsaber and took a tentative step toward him, still wary of him. He couldn't blame her. He would be leery, too. Would still have his blaster trained on her if their roles were reversed.

"Explain, Theron," Lana said, firm but not unkind. He nodded and lifted his head, brushing Alico's hair down from where he had mussed it. She didn't move to release him, still clinging tightly to him.

"I heard rumors about the Order of Zildrog through my old underworld contacts. It took me months to even find them—and the whole time, they were watching us." He stroked her back, remembering the way GEMINI 16 had spied on their most intimate moments. "By the time I learned the truth about Zildrog, it was almost too late. They'd learned too much. I had to slow them down long enough for the Alliance to catch up." He gently peeled away and held her by her shoulders so that he could look into her eyes. "I had to join them—work from the inside. The only way to get Vinn Atrius to trust me…was to betray you."

"It wasn't the only way," Alico murmured. "Why didn't you come to me?"

He felt a bitter smile forming. "The GEMINI droid was watching," he replied. "I couldn't figure out how, but she was recording every word we said," he cupped her cheeks, brushed his thumbs across the dark patches under her eyes, "everything we did. Telling you would risk the whole operation. I needed the betrayal to look real." He brushed his thumbs across her cheeks again and shook his head. "You can't imagine how hard it was, putting you through that." He tried to smile for her. "But I swore I would do whatever it took to protect you…remember?"

"I remember," she said with a shallow nod.

His fingers folded desperately into her hair. "If anything happened to you, I couldn't…" He pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, "You mean everything to me."

"Theron…"

She lifted her hands and touched his face and they remained that way for a moment before Lana brought them back to the urgent business at hand. He knew he couldn't tarry, knew they had to hurry, but being with her like that felt like atonement.

"So you infiltrated the Order and learned their plans," Lana said gently, urging him to continue. "What are we up against?"

He withdrew from Alico's embrace and looked at Lana. "They found Zildrog in one of the Emperor's Vaults. Looks like Valkorian kept it on ice as a failsafe. The Order has nearly finished their final preparations. Once they activate Zildrog," he shook his head, "it's the end of the Alliance. I stalled them with false data as long as I could, but we don't have much time. If we act now—"

"You expect us to trust you after what you put us through?" Lana asked, anger lacing her tone. He couldn't blame her for not trusting him. After everything, it was the smarter move. "How do we know you're not leading us straight into the Order's hands?"

Theron opened his mouth to respond but Alico jumped in first.

"Enough, Lana!" she said. "I know you don't believe him, but I do. Or don't you trust _me_?"

"I…" Lana looked conflicted but sympathetic. "I apologize. You know I'll follow you, whatever you decide."

Alico smiled and gripped her arm. "Thank you."

Theron smiled, too. Whatever happened next, he was content. He was beside them again, his friends. He was beside _her_ again…and she didn't hate him. He was finally back on the team he belonged with, fighting for something he believed in.

"Come on," he murmured and gave Alico's arm a gentle squeeze. Then louder, he said, "We need to get moving."


	5. Proposal

He remembered pain lancing through him…and falling. The metal was cold against his cheek. Strong arms hoisted him and dragged him. All sound was far away and distorted, as though his head was submerged in water. Something touched him and he opened his eyes. He thought he saw her, his Alico, standing there. Blaster fire rang out five times and a body slumped at her feet. He remembered her sweet voice calling to him through the sea in his ears. Hands were on him…and he was floating.

And then he remembered darkness.

When Theron awoke in the kolto tank days later, it was from strange and terrifying dreams—dreams that he had lost the woman he loved forever. They drained the tank and ran several checkups, all Alliance doctors and technicians. He was back on Odessen… He had been stabbed, they told him, but the Commander had saved him.

"She hardly left your side," a mousey girl told him as she checked his vitals. "She would be here now, Sir, except Lana called her away."

Theron tried to speak but no sound came out. He tried to swallow but his mouth was so dry and his throat felt closed up. The girl quickly handed him a cup of water and he gulped it down. After a second glass, he successfully cleared his throat.

"Bring me clothes," he rasped.

"Sir—"

"I need to see her."

She eyed him for a long moment and then nodded. "Yes, Sr."

When the doctors were satisfied and he was dressed, he hobbled through the base. With every step, his strength returned a little more. The people he passed all nodded to him, respect and gratitude and welcoming in their eyes. So, they didn't hate him either… It could only mean one thing: she had told them all the truth. He hoped he could take that as a good sign.

He found Alico and Lana on the catwalk branching out of the military hangar, leaning against the railing and talking. They both looked tired but Alico looked absolutely exhausted. As he drew closer, he heard Lana speaking.

"…seems the future of the Alliance is uncertain."

"Maybe it's time," Alico said and sighed. "I never wanted this to go on so long. I'm not made for it."

"You did a fine job," Lana told her.

"Thanks, but I have you and Theron to thank for that." She shook her head. "I don't mind fighting for the galaxy, but I don't want to lead it."

"I think I'm finished as a spymaster for a while, too," Lana agreed. "Although you'll always have my support, it will be nice to take a break from ruling the galaxy."

"Oh, like you've ever taken a break in your life," Theron said as he approached them.

"Theron!" Alico exclaimed, whirling around. She smiled and her tired eyes lit up. "You're awake…"

"It's good to see you up and about, Theron," Lana said.

"Thanks. It's, uh…" He looked around nervously. "It's been awhile since I was last in this room. It's good to be back. Listen, I—" His gaze dropped to his feet as prepared the speech he had planned on the walk over. "I probably don't deserve the trust you showed me. I was reckless and stupid, and it almost cost us everything. But…" He finally met Alico's green gaze. "But I did it to protect you…and the Alliance. And…if you'll have me, I'll work hard to earn a place at your side." He bit his lip before asking, "So…what do you say? Are we still a team?"

Alico laughed. "Of course we are. Theron, you risked your life for us. There's always a place for you here." She shrugged. "As long as here is, uh, here." Alico nodded at Lana. "We were just talking about a vacation."

"A vacation sounds great," he agreed and looked from one woman to the next.

Lana smiled knowingly. "I'll give you some privacy," she said and nudged his shoulder affectionately as she walked past him. He glanced over his shoulder, a small smile on his lips, and watched her move out of earshot.

When he faced Alico again, she was giving him that look that always drew him in. With her eyes locked on his, she stepped back and he couldn't help but step forward. And then she turned and was moving toward the grassy hill in the distance, away from the base, away from prying eyes and snooping ears. He caught up to her easily and they walked in silence until sunshine and green grass and a gentle breeze surrounded them.

In spite of everything, Theron was nervous. Alico had shown him she still trusted him, had confirmed there was always a place for him in the Alliance, and he was ecstatic. But what he really needed to know was if there was still a place for him in her heart. He couldn't hope one thing meant the other, not after what he had put her through, not after the look on her face the day he betrayed her…

"Every night since I left," he began hesitantly, voice still a bit raspy, "I've had the same nightmare. You're walking away and, no matter how fast I run, I can't catch up. Leaving you there on Umbara…it destroyed me." He turned to face her and she stopped walking. "I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for what I did."

Her brows knitted together, forehead wrinkling with distress. She opened her mouth to respond, hesitated, and he suddenly had an awful feeling in his gut.

"But I…" he began before she could say it—that it was over between them. "I love you and…I know I don't deserve it, but…" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Could you give your idiot spy boyfriend one more chance?"

Surprise came over her face, as though his words were the last thing she had expected to hear. He didn't know what to make of it. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, could only stare in the agonizing silence as he waited for a response.

"Theron," she said like he was an idiot. "You don't need another chance. I'll always love you. I told you—nothing will ever change that."

He sighed in relief and smiled. "Oh, thank the stars," he said. She was frowning again.

"Wait, did you think we broke up?" she blurted.

"I—I didn't know if—well, if you still—I mean, what I did—" He shook his head. "Forget it. It doesn't matter…" He chuckled. "I will spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you."

A sly glint twinkled in her eyes and she bit her lip. "Theron Shan," she began coyly. "Are you proposing?"

Theron was momentarily stunned. "Wh-what?" he stammered. "I didn't…I mean, if you really…" He nervously scratched his jaw. "…do you?"

"Do I…what?" she asked, pretending to be clueless.

Theron whirled around and walked a few steps away, overwhelmed. He had never thought about marriage, family… His parents had never married, his mother had as many maternal instincts as he had heads, and his father had been a mystery half of his life and a stranger the other. His expectations on that front were so low that they didn't exist. And yet here he was, in love, and she loved him back. The idea of being hers forever, of her being his forever…it sounded good. That he could call her his wife, it sounded…perfect.

He had never hoped for more, had been content to have her for as long as she wanted him in return, but now that marriage was on the table, well—she was either teasing him or hinting, but either way…she might say yes. And he realized he wanted her to.

"You know what?" he said out loud to himself. "Throwing caution to the wind here." He turned to face her. "Will you—" The words started strong but that was as far as he got before terror gripped him. "Uh—" He was a damn ex-SIS agent! Why couldn't he be cool in front of her just once? "You know…"

"This is really difficult for you, isn't it?" she teased.

"Just—" He looked her in the eyes. "Marry me." And even he heard the desperation in his voice as he added, "Please."

Her lips crashed into his and he sucked in a breath through his nostrils. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her body against his.

"Of course I will," she whispered breathlessly between kisses. "Theron…" Her tongue brushed his and he groaned. "I love you."

"And I love you," he murmured. "Alico…" He grasped both sides of her head and held her against his mouth. "I love you…"

Her fingers brushed along the back of his head, the stubble across his jaw, the lines of his neck, and back again. He had missed her touch so much, missed holding her, kissing her. Being with her again—it was euphoric.

Her palms glided down her chest and across his abdomen. "You're all healed up?" she whispered.

"Good enough for this," he answered and kissed her again.

"How about you take me back to your room…"

GEMINI 16 popped into his head and he hesitated. "What if we go to your ship instead?" he suggested. "You never know who's watching…"

She smirked against his mouth. "As long as I'm with you—" Their lips connected again. "I'll go anywhere."

Theron smiled. "Who would've thought…when a spy asks you out for a quick drink…"

"Best drink I ever had."

Theron scooped her up and kissed her as he carried her toward her ship. "And you are, by far, the most beautiful asset I ever recruited."

"And the smartest and most charming?"

"Uh." He chuckled. "I mean—"

"And the best shot?"

"Definitely the best shot."

"And you're hopeless without me?"

He smiled softly. "Hopeless," he agreed quietly and kissed her again.


End file.
